Day 83 - Copy of a letter my Dad was allowed to send home!

Day 82 - A stone monument at Buchenwald

"We managed to get hold of some Special Hostage Letters or "schultzhaffling. I think they were supposed to be used for the musicians - through using these letters I managed to send news home and even asked for a few underclothes and a pair of leather shoes.


Caniuz, a Belgian member of our Resistance Group, organized the whole thing  as well as translating my letter into perfect German.  I think he owned a company or bookstore in Belgium.  If one were to ask for too much in the letter it probably would not pass the censor - you could definitely not ask for food.  The clothes would pass the censors on the premise that they were going to be used for some type of gymnastics - the shoes would be a bonus if I could get them for this "holiday camp"!!!


I couldn't believe my eyes when I received a reply, together with a new pair of leather shoes.  My family were now aware that I was still alive and had proof of where I was located - that was the big bonus!  For many of my fallen friends, their parents would not even know where their children had died.  It would be an awful job to have to tell them how they had spent their last moments.


I am now remembering one such story of a good Belgian friend of mine - his story would be very hard for me to tell when I got home.   One evening, on my return from a commando, my friend continuously kept asking me how things were going and what the news was, these were pretty common remarks!  He also asked me when I thought the war would end - I responded with a short, snappy, August 23rd.   I think I was snappy due to stress and the rapid aging process I had been undergoing since being in the camp!


My friend now looked at me with such a pitiful and pleading look, as if I shouldn't have said so.  Such a damned glance - with all the sorrows of the world embedded into it.  


After he had asked me the questions I was silent for a couple of minutes and kept to myself but afterwards said I was sorry.  This was the same day he was killed during the bombing at Steinbruck.   I had foreseen his end.


My friend had been a late arrival at Buchenwald but had still been directed to do hard labor in the quarry.  On the day of the bombing, the S.S. building had remained intact but one wave had fallen in front of it and the other wave had gone past moving right into the quarry.


Real havoc was caused as the wave rolled on - it seemed like it was playing billiards with the rocks and boulders.  By now, its momentum  had doubled which had a big effect on the prisoners in the quarry. Of course, my friend and the other prisoners had no chance of escape.  


Steinbruck had become a grave for many prisoners.  The quarry at Buchenwald had become my friend's destiny and stone monument.


With Allied help,  we had succeeded in getting Buchenwald bombed but my potential escape was not yet over.  I was now ready and The Resistance  wanted to help get me away!


Soon after the bombing I got put back into going on commandos and lost track of "Valkenhof...........




To be continued ...

Day 81 - Shulzhaffling or special hostage letters!

One day, I was watching an S.S. column moving towards the far corner of the fence.  Suddenly, a lone Allied plane approached us as if from nowhere - probably looking for something worthwhile to hit!  He must have come from the coastal area and been scanning these wild parts.  He now quickly dropped a couple of bombs damaging the fence.  At this point, the S.S. were nowhere to be seen - it was as if they had disappeared into thin air!


No prisoner had ever been seen in that corner of the camp.  At this point, the temptation to make an escape was great as it appeared to be a good spot from which to make a quick getaway.  However, I decided not to do anything and after this incident, the two criminals or "greens", found me coming out of the block hut, a bit higher up than when they had last seen me and now covered in fodder - they found this very amusing!


The time of arrival of prisoners at Buchenwald obviously had a big impact on their rate of survival.  In the month of August, a couple of new arrivals from my home town of Ostend had just been caught in the bombings.  Both were members of the White Brigade in Belgium.  One of them was a well known goalkeeper and the other one his mate.


The former goalkeeper had been wounded by shrapnel during the bombings.  He had also risked the run towards the S.S. barricade, located in the bushes and in the process had been shot.  His situation was very similar to when I had been shot by the S.S., the bullet had passed his hip bone and luckily was just a flesh wound.


In comparison to me, he had been a relative newcomer to the camp.  Consequently, his wound had healed much more quickly than mine, very likely because I had been in camps for a much longer time and was therefore very much more under-nourished and so it took longer for my wound to heal.


It was at this time that we laid our hands on special hostage letters or "shultzhaffling".....




To be continued ....

Day 80 - Buchenwald's Watchtowers!

One day, the greens were watching me as I got the barrels from behind the kitchen and loaded them onto a small cart.  Two S.S., were passing by and told them to give me a hand - they looked at their different badges and made sure that they did help me!  The green's didn't take too kindly to that!


We now arrived at the pen to feed the boars.  The scenery all around was like a setting from the Wild West in which to tame wild horses.  Southwards, towards Erfurt was a beautiful view overlooking the big, open countryside.


I was now told to climb over the wooden fence to the animal's troughs or feed boxes and fill them to the brim.  I had to do this in between the constant charges of the wild boars, who seemed to be enjoying the game.  After filling the buckets from the barrels the criminals or greens continued to pass the buckets to me and seemed to be enjoying the situation too.


Those animals had very sharp, protruding horns and appeared to take pleasure in running after each other after going around the entire circle.  To everybody's delight, each time, I would just have enough time for a quick glance and a chance to jump over the fence.


Eventually, I managed to get the last damned box filled up but by now was panting for breath.  After that, we had lunch in a nice cozy, log cabin and told stories to each other.  Why didn't we escape from that corner?
Easier said than done!


The new, young, S.S. recruits were constantly training in those bushes and a bit further on.  The watchtowers, that were also in view, kept a close eye on us too.  One must not forget that the watchtowers were a bit like fortresses. They were on their own and constantly manned by three S.S., on three shifts - so we were being observed all the time.


As previously pointed out, there were also guards being trained and patrol dogs going around the fence - our chances therefore were very slim.  In an emergency, the Tank Corps Panser Grenadiers, stationed below the hill, near Weimer, could place a cordon around the base.  There were also farms in the vicinity with their Home Guards with dogs.  The chance of an escape attempt succeeding were about one in a thousand -  so hardly worth the effort!






To be continued ...

Day 79 - The animals were fed better than us and German Greens!!

"In between the long rolls calls that we now had to experience people kept collapsing!  I listened to some of the other groups around us and one of them was a German religious sect from the latest Jehovah Witnesses - of whom I knew very little.


Most of them seemed to be offspring from the old Hutties from Sudatenland! and Bohemia who had lived with the Jehovah Witness concept for a long time!  Their faith and endurance was strong and persistent.  They were stoic people and had suffered extreme cruelty from the beginning under the Nazis.  They had metered out punishment to try and make them change their minds.  Their treatment was just as bad as ours and by now their numbers had been enormously depleted.


At this moment, they were busy lecturing among themselves and the resulting conclusion was that despotism was due to the three organized evil forces ruling the earth namely; politics, religion and business.  In other words, absolute power, expedient hypocrisy and unlimited greed. 


They believed that these three forces concentrated on opposing all that stood for good and enlightened behavior! They refused to fight for anything!  They believed that, The Lord or us had to do the fighting for them - very difficult for me to comprehend but their faith was constant.  I find these sects to be parasites but believe the study of the word does good.  Everybody was doing the fighting for them!


If nothing is done about cleaning the total corruption and degeneration, as in the balance of nature, then who does?  All this has to be done for progress and survival.  Anyway, their prophetic message was beware of the three forces against you.


For any future enterprise in my life these people would always have a very strong influence and remain with my thinking, more often than not, until I got further enlightenment.  Nobody took them very seriously and it takes all kinds to make a world.


Snow and sleet were the pattern of our days and nights now and we were glad to get some sleep and rest when we returned from those long roll calls.  Janeck said he would find something better for me to do through his group organization and he did!  I got picked for commando, "Valkenhof" which involved looking after the deer, boar and falcons.


The park was outside the fence and run by two German green's, or criminal youngsters, of whom I didn't know anything at all - they were not Capo's or anything but had this job for themselves alone!


The animals were better fed than us!  Whatever was for them we had our fill of as well.  Sometimes we ate before the animals or on the side or at the end.  This was a rice custard in porridge left over from the elite S.S. tables.  The other food was offal from the S.S. kitchens and quite alright.  The criminals were used to getting the extra's and smuggled the stuff in to the Polish barracks were Janeck was..........."


To be continued ...

Day 78 - Wing Commander Yeo Thomas, S.A.S.

"The fact was that, "The Camp", was very much in control of everything and Wing Commander Yeo Thomas did not have any more power over decisions than the rest of us.


Despite having rank within the S.A.S., he possessed a very flimsy authority in the camp and could not save any more of his buddies than we could save ours!  No ordinary man in the camp possessed that kind of authority.  In addition, at this point, many of the inmates were more like cabbages than anything else and if summoned to do so could not escape the death transports or anything else for that matter.....!


The Commandent, was now using all kinds of ruses over the loud speaker - trying to get as many inmates on the death transports as he possibly could - this was very likely to offset the pressure in the camp and shoot them down more easily later.


At that time, using any kind of weapons would have resulted in what would have been a massive suicide for us.  The Allies were too far way to be of any help and the Nazi's were still very strong.  Therefore, the suggestion made by, Major Yeo Thomas, that we use our weapons probably would  have made our general position even worse than it already was........!


In addition, we were still very much divided and it could have created an abominable state of armed suicide.  With the weapons at hand, we probably could have made a go of it but the S.S. would have been able to pick us off very easily.


The action that Wing Commander Yeo Thomas had suggested was very typical of S.A.S. types.   I admired his courage for suggesting that we take action using the weapons because that is the way I often felt myself.  There was definitely support among us even though we hardly knew each other. 


However, the situation was still such that The Underground Movement made all the decisions not us! Churchill and our Allies had probably made the right decision in view of the circumstances.


As you can imagine, for many of us, the decision not to take action was very disappointing - most of us felt very let down!  I now felt that forgiving and accepting the facts was more useful than making silly accusations -  jumping at each others throats would serve no purpose.


"I now ask that an evaluation of the facts, in relation to the epic movie that was made about Buchenwald, be conducted.  I feel that this is important in order to put the historical context of the events into their proper perspective and not the perspective of a few individuals who were not present at the time.  This should be done in memory of the men and women who made such great sacrifices within our camp - It is Never too Late!


We cannot judge history on the statements of a few individuals....!"


To be continued ....




Today, is May 10, 2012, my Dad would have been 89 years old today!  What a trooper.  My Hero for sure!

Day 77 - "The last public hanging at Buchenwald"

"This was also the last time the gallows would be brought out for a public hanging.  Public hangings were used as an example for us all; in case we should think of trying an escape.


We had to watch the hangings for a couple of hours while the music played and the fellow, a Russian or Polish, I think, were slowly hung up and left to die.  Everybody was compelled to look upon it during that time.


His executioner, an S.S., would give a speech about daring to escape and that was it!  I always thought that there were two that I saw but from where I stood I had a rather awkward view and what with moving about, the helpers and the posts, my view from the distance was somewhat impeded.


Winter went by with snow and freezing temperatures and I had the only woman's fur coat in the camp.  It kept me decently warm, it was a bit thin and worn out but kept the freezing wind out very well.  It also covered up my escape outfit.  My hair was nearly normal now, no brush cut to spoil the effect!


The winter was made harder by the long roll calls.  We had to be counted and recounted until late into the night - they always found mistakes to be dealt with unless the S.S. was a slow poke.  We all quickly came to the conclusion that the long roll calls were a direct result of sour grapes on their part because of all the set backs they now had to face.


All of their fronts were now crumbling - even the home front!  However, they probably felt the need to preserve their institutions as long as they could and we were the shield in front of them.  That was the intended finale; to use us as human shields, our sole hope was to get and receive help from our Allies.


Churchill had refused the arms drop we had asked for in return for the destruction of the secret arsenal.  We thought that this would have given us the chance of getting the equalizer for which we had hoped.  It was believed that   Churchill would not give us what we wanted because of potential reprisals against the other camps...


Wing Commander Yeo Thomas had his reservations too!  He had been saved by the Camp Resistance (very much like myself), for its uses.  That is how he escaped death at the hands of the Gestapo and Nazis, not otherwise as the film suggested from the death transport.....




To be continued ...